挣扎

心里不停的挣扎,
到底未来的路该怎么走..
空姐,会计师,化妆师,还是什么呢?
21 岁了,为什么, 那么快就21岁了.
要毕业了, 都不懂该往哪儿走..
跟着感觉走吗?
还念书时,就想快点毕业,
快毕业时,却好怀念那无忧的大学生涯...
是逃避吗?
是不想面对现实的社吧!

"我要一步一步往上爬..."
到底哪里才是出路呢?

最幸福的事

常常在听， 常常在想， 什么是最幸福的事呢？

原来父亲说的一点也没错，我真是身在福中不知福。

常抱怨他这样不对，那样不好，
却渐渐忘了。。。忘了他原来的好，忘了当初为何坚持在一起的理由。

回来的这几天，心里好想念他，
记得那天的嚎啕大哭，记得他的坚决，更无法忘记自己犯下的错。
他的坚决，是因为我伤他太深吗？还是对我太失望了。。
对不起他。

这几天，没有他在身边，才发现他的好，他的坏。

记得十八岁那年的生日，他给我的惊喜，

记得他送我的那只熊，完成了我儿时的愿望，

记得他为我准备的晚餐，为我洗碗时的模样，

记得准备晚餐时，他在背后搂着我的感受，

那年的情人节，他唱的那首“爱很简单”，

送给我的礼物，原来我挂在嘴边的，他都放在心上，

以为他忽略了我，原来他一直默默的付出，

原来最坏的坏蛋是我，
一直忽略了他的感受，是我！

虽然，他从不说爱我，
原来他的爱，用行动代替了他的言语。

我要好好珍惜，珍惜那可贵的爱，

我对自己说，
我要感恩，
我要惜福，
我要好好的爱他。

不敢保证，未来的我不会犯错，

但我会好好的，真心的去爱他。

为他准备晚餐，依偎在他怀里的幸福，
我要一直锁在心房，为我取暖。

贝，那天你看见了，打个电话给我，好吗？

20 july 2009

celebration of chong chuan and yin mun birthday.. once finish test, everybody get home to prepare d..went to blue dragon and Quattro after tat.. blue dragon at yulek.. the food is not very nice, the environment is ok only as the light is soooo deemm there.. so i don recommend u to got there..first time see waiter take order assisting by his phone light to write..next station at Quattro- unplanned.. gurls are excited bt guys are a bit passive..
but sitll, a good and enjoyable night to hang out together..hardly act8 hang out like this. first time act8 go clubbing together huh..and we hang out until 3am..
good nitezzz....

17-07-2009

a happy gals outing day.. break our record already.. we spent almost 3hours in one shop (sasa)..
cheers gal..

simple n happy day

hoho.. went to sing k with yp today at the jusco nearby.. a simple n happy day ^^

another new semester again

new semester starts again. and this is year3 sem 2now. need to pass up thesis by the end of this sem alr. still busy with studies. but still so doing badly.. wat's wrong with me..
hardly update my blog, coz i think no one will be reading my blog. so..umhh.. just let it be there la..
summore my pc after reformat cant type chinese words, make me hard to express my feeling la..issh.. another reason for nt updating the blog..
=.=" hope everyone is good out there~

Redang Trip 12-16 may09

A memorable n wonderful place that I misses so much..

misses the sea, the boat, the place, the people, the atmosphere..everything everything single thing there..
Hate the feeling of leaving, dislike the feeling of saying good bye..
But may be this is good for everyone, to keep those happy moments short n' simple..
The feeling of missing something aren't good but not that bad too...
Haha.. Can you get what I wan to say?
lolx...just crapping..

what is important is that:
"Dear friends, just wanna tell you all
I loves n''misses everybody so much~~
muackz >Ô< "

Growing....

Sometimes I feel myself like stupid..
Although we get together for three years ed,
but why I still feel like I'm chasing over him,
trying to catch his attention,
grab his heart..
Am I?

Feels like we are not on date
but I'm working very hard to grab his mind,
grab his heart..
I just wish to get his little attention everyday..
He will never know how it feels like..
It's like hell.. tearing my heart apart..
When you loves someone so much,
missing him so much..
But he doesn't miss you at all.

He wants you to be independent,
to face the problems on you own.
Then why he is here?
Support? or watching you far away?
Loving you without action? or loving in mind? or in heart?
sincerely? faithfully?
or he is keeping all his love in his heart,
unknown, unseen, unheard..unpredictable..

So close to me but his heart is so far..
Unpredictable, unreachable.. at an infinite place..
May be this is my fault,
to give up someone who loves me so much..
and chasing towards someone I love...
But I have no doubt..
really really love him.
Cook for him,
wake him up,
clean his house,
quarrel with him
n again n again forgiving him without his sorry,
makes call to him although he don't,
signing for his attendance
although I'm so mad with his attitude,
Staying back to study with him
although I know that's not the best way
to cure his laziness nor to help him,
but praying hard that he will aware of that one day
and work hard for his studies,
But..
when the days will come?

When will him aware that I'm always there for him?
Yes, I know I will do everything for him, but did he appreciate that?
The way he treat me.. the way he is always right, I'm tired of it sometimes..
Sometimes really cant feel whether he does cares all about me...
or perhaps concern anything about me?
I need assurance,
sense of assurance
that he will alw be there for me
sense of belonging,
that I belongs to him..
So excited I'm each time I received his call,
even though just a minute..
Is that how men behave?
to keep their love in heart?

What is the ranking of me in his heart?
1, 2,3, 4....or which place??
I'm sure I'm not the first..
But at least can I be the second?
Is this how the urban are thought?
or this is the urban culture?

I don't know,
I just know that
I love you,
sincerely,
faithfully.

功课

一些人，真的好烦。
说话，老是针对人，
难道，这样说话，就好过一点吗？

算了，对我来说，她什么也不是。
又何必伤神去思考呢？

哈哈，加油吧（自己）！
我不会轻易被打败的。

呵。。呵。。呵。。
哈！

答案

终于，找到了答案。
原来，你一直默默的，在我身边。
没有你，我没有勇气活下去。
谢谢你，宝贝。

三周年快乐！
希望有你，在每一个明天，陪我一直走到最后。

忙，忙，忙

好忙，好忙，忙到喘不过气了....
关心，都去哪儿了？
为什么呢？ 为什么关心越来越少了。。
怎么了，为什么你总是那么的冷漠，那么的冷。。
冷冷的，很酷吗?
我需要的关怀都去哪儿了?
= ,= "

我也需要爱, 我也需要关怀...

L.O.V.E

近来，很少随你回家了。感觉我们好像习惯了。。
忙忙忙，最近我真的好忙， 可你却好像不怎么关心我的近况...
情人节前几天，我就觉得你怪怪的，好像有心事似的..

你说，累了，
我只想告诉你。。
“怎么了，你累了，说好的幸福呢....“
好想你，我也不懂怎么了，你说累了，真的吗？

有人说，“男人不会把时间花在寻找爱他的人，男人要找的是是可以让他爱的人。“
好想问你，是因为我不是你想爱的那个吗？
还是你不懂该怎么去爱一个人吗？
是你不懂如何去关心，还是你从来不是出至于真心呢...
不想听见你说，三年了，原来我不是你想要爱的那个人...
心好酸好酸，只想找一个很爱很爱我的人，不浪漫，不花心，我只想要一个真心想对我好的人...
你的心呢？你是否真心想爱我。。
我好想知道答案。。可以很确定的告诉我吗？
可我却希望可以得到一个完美的答案。。


迷失了，不懂该怎么往前再走下去了..
是因为在一起久了吗？还是你忘了？忘了原来我也需要你的关怀。
还是你从来不懂你的心？
或者那就是你的爱....
你有多久没对我说你爱我了..
我想，才一个月吧，为何你却转变得那么快..

是时候放手了么？为何那些朋友都劝我放手..
我却一直觉得你是爱我的，只是你表达的方式不一样而已..
我想是她们不了解你吧..

问问自己，你是我想找的吗？
不浪漫，不花心，不爱吹牛，
内涵，聪明，爱家，你都有。
那是我想要得吗....是的，那对我来说太完美了..
只是我最想要的是一颗真心，真正爱我的心，
你缺少的，就只是给我一个答案..
我需要的，只是一个答案，
有了答案，我才有勇气走下去....
真的好想好好的爱你...

好想好想，你也一样的爱我...