birthday coming soon

My birthday is coming soon.. This is my 20th birthday.. I never had big party for birthday but as least I still had quite some wishes from my friends and fanily. Thanks for all the wishes.. That makes me feel good, makes me feel that there are still people care about me.
I just look back my older post, and I noticed that I had been planning to go to sunway lagoon since two years ago. But until today, still in progress.. What a plan.. Year 2007, i never post any blog, hmm.. Let me think.. What am I doing ya the whole 2007? Busy n Busy n Busy with what..I can't really remember.. But last year I was having sem break during my birthday, so just a few people celebrate with me.
Celebration is not that important for me, I just wish that I still get wishes from my friends and family. I just want to feel being care by others.. I loves my friends and family, and I wish that they love me too..
Dunno want to say what anymore, perhaps I will have a happy birthday.
Happy birthday to myself~~

好难过的一天

今天天气不好。最近老是下雨。。
我今天好难过。。
我们又吵架了。。在一起两年多了，对你的爱有增无减。。
每一次吵架，以为放得开，却发现原来还很爱你。。
我好傻，为什么每次都要跟你吵。。
心里一点都不好受，好想好好的哭一场。。
却没办法接受我的哭泣。。
只可以在背后默默地哭吗？
为什么不可以这样发泄呢？
心好疼。。生日快到了，有没有人可以疼一疼我呢？
以前你问我，我觉得你爱我吗？
后来我总是没耐心等待你的答案。。我害怕，害怕听见你说你不爱我。。
是我错了吗？是不是我一直误会了？
直到今天你还搞不懂你的心吗？
我慌了。。不知该如何是好。。
好累，好累。。你可以谅解我想哭的心情吗..
我只想有个人好好的爱我。。

p/s:我只想要一个温暖的怀抱，喜怒哀乐都可以接受我的拥抱..

exam coming again..

moodless.. This Saturday is the first paper, now already Monday, 5days left, but I still haven't ready for any subject. No mood to study. Many stupid things appear in mind. Problems and problems. I know everyone have their own problem. I need to overcome my problem too. I had keep many feelings in my heart, many problems that I do not want to share with my "friends". I already cannot defferentiate who are my real friends. Scared being hurt.. haha.. Long time I had lost my happiness.. I wanna to find out where are they..
Gambateh! I can do it.
Be myself

梁文音 - 流浪记

我就这样告别山下的家
我实在不想轻易让眼泪流下
我以为我并不差 不会害怕
我就这样自己照顾自己长大

我不想因为现实把头低下
我以为我并不差 能学会虚假

怎样才能够看穿面具里的谎话
别让我的真心散的像沙
如果有一天我变得更复杂
还能不能唱出歌声里的那个家

我就这样告别山下的家
我实在不想轻易让眼泪流下
我以为我并不差 不会害怕
我就这样照顾自己长大

我不想因为现实把头低下
我以为我并不差 能学会虚假

怎样才能够看穿面具里的谎话
别让我的真心散的像沙
如果有一天我变得更复杂
还能不能唱出歌声里的那幅画

怎样才能够看穿面具里的谎话
别让我的真心散的像沙
如果有一天我变得更复杂
还能不能唱出歌声里的那个家

M o o d y D a y

These two days weather are moody. Keep raining especially when I just finish classes. I have to cycle in the rain.
My mood is just like the weather ---- Moody
I can feel something wrong regarding my friends' attitude towards me recently. I felt that. And today I decided to discuss with them. So I just discuss with V n Y. I thought that may be S in not in good mood as this semester really busy with studies. And I thought V and Y is not happy with me because recently I don't do well for the assignments. But I'm wrong. When the class ended then I just take my bike n go home as usual. When I reached home, I realise that V had sent a sms for me. In the msg, she's talking roughly about asking me to evaluate my attitude when I can feel that my friends already feel not to get with me but not to evaluate whether anything wrong with my friends.
That's hurt. I gotta be strong 's and I gotta be alright.. I gotta change. Perhaps god will stay with me. And thanks dear for being with me. I love you.
B e S t r o n g Y a, m e i~~

A nice holiday

I had just finish my holiday last week.
When the holiday had just begin, I felt so upset that I have to sit for supplementary paper in the holiday and I cant really enjoy in the holiday.
I had camp in the final week of the holiday. And that was so great!~~
Thanks to UTAR"s community service club for bringing so much fun and joy for us.
I appreaciate so much, and that change my view that camping is so boring.
But the word "boring" is absolutely not applicable with this camp.
I had fun there and get to know loads of friends. They are sincere, friendly, cute and so happy to get to know them.
I remember the second day of the camp was our group leader's birthday. We were called for a meeting by the committee. At first we thought that they would like us to celebrate her birthday together. But we were told that the committee would like to fire our leader as she didn't lead us well. We appeal and we please the committee that please do not fire her. And we cried. I cried as I'm trying to argue with the committee. Some of the committee also disagree with the arrangement. They even said want to leave the camp at that moment and rushed out from the room. Oh my god, you guess what happen next?
When most of our group members cried out, the fellor that just rushed out, came in with a cake..And everybody start singing "Happy Birthday".. I guess we can felt how close we are at that moment, and how much we appreciate this friendship. I never thought that will happen in my life before.
That was the greatest part of the camp. Other activities, eg camp fire and games, talks, and etc were interesting too.
Keep the good job ya. And perhaps I have another chance for a meaningful camp in the future.
We had an outing yesterday and we are planning to have another next week.
Hope our friendship will last.. and perhaps this friendship will be kept in our memory forever.
I love u all, bang bang tang!! You are the best.

T.T Why me??

Last night, I went for a steamboat buffet with my friends. We just finish our last paper in the morning. On the way to the buffet, we received a call and know that one of the subject result had come out. So we decided to check out..
Haih.. Most of my friends have passed the paper, except me.. WHY?? Why is me? I had put so much effort to study already and when sitting for the paper I'm confident that I know to do the questions. Is it because my luck is not good enough or WHAT? My friend never attend the class and he just study for two days. And he PASS~~
Haiz.. so sad.. no mood already...
Cant go back to hometown so soon already. Since chinese new year I come back, I never go back so long time already. So busy with studies here. Sorry daddy, mummy.. I'll try my best to get back as soon as possible. Miss you all my family..
Hopefully other subjects will pass la~~

Struggle ~.~

What happen to me??
I don't know. Tomorrow is my last paper ed.. I'm not struggling about the studies, but with some other friendship problem..
She is my best friend and he was my friend.
They date since the end of last year. Her number was given by me for him. I thought he was kidding with me when he asked for her number. And I'm confident that she wont bother about him.
But, I'm wrong, wrong , wrong.
I'm totally wrong. They date.
Yea, he's quite a nice friend, but according to my knowledge, he's not a good boy friend. He had date with many gals before and always flitering with other girls too..
She is my very best friend that I get to know in the uni..
I'm so afraid that she'll get hurt..
I cant really accept their relationship..
What's going wrong with me??

Don wanna to think so much anymore..
Just let everything be what it should be..
God bless..

piew..it's going to over

I left one more paper on this friday. Perhaps I can get flying colour this time and do not disappoint myself again.
Ya, my gang of uni frens, all had been busy with own stuff. We were planning to hang out together after this paper. But things don't seems to sound good.
It was such a long time ago, since we farewell with mei yi and we never hang out together anymore.
The reasons are: no transport (actually got one car to fit in all of us but the driver don't wanna to drive), then they wanna bring along their boy friends so that they have nice car to go somewhere (which make me feel, "urgh, is this a gals outing?!"), then no money, wan save money, lazy to go out, this and that..etc etc
I feel so sad towards these excuses. Are these the reasons that we left our friendship behind. Come on, we can take public transport rite, it is not a big deal ok? Why don't u gals ask yourself whether you do really appreciate this friendship?
Ya, i admit that sometimes we do have some time matching problem, but i think we can try to solve it as long as we really mean to have a meet up.
Is this friday going to be a happy one, or just as normal doing our own stuff?? I wish we can really meet up and at least have a dinner together before the sem break start... Wish my dream will come true ^^

WOW

It was so long time ago when I posted the last blog.
Hmph.. May be I should update more often.
Recently I'm busy with mid term tests and assignment. Some relationship problems make me so frust. Friendship, family.. I had gone through quite many problems with that too.
That's what life is, right? Problems and challenges. We need to face that everyday.
I remember a friend had sent me a sms before, she said
" Life has its ups and down. Sometimes the sun shines, sometimes the rain pour, but it takes both sun and rain to make a rainbow."
That is so true. Each time when I met with problems, this message always makes me feel better.

Last year, my studies were not very good. So I had decided to really pay more affort on studies already this year. Many things I need to catch up this year. Hope I can do it better this year.
Last night was "Zap Gor Me", which indicate the last day for the Chinese New Year.
Neighbours were having parties, and I just watch the fireworks. Firework is beautiful, but it's just at that moment. All after that, left nothing, just memory in mind, and the "abu" in air only..
Last night, I was very upset because I had some misunderstanding with someone. Fortunately some friends had share and talk to me.
Thanks to my dear friends for always being there for me. I love you all so much.
I'm sorry that sometimes I'm busy with my own stuff and neglected you people.
But I promise, I'll always keep you all in my heart, and I do miss you all ya..

Ok la.. I think i need to continue study already also.. so i should stop now lu..